There is a word that many do not like to say. ‘It shall not be named’. If you say this word, you have to watch every word that comes after it. You must mean it. You must handle it with care.
That word is rape.
For those who have experienced this word, this is not for you. For every single human being who has sadly mumbled this word and meant it, this is not for you. To every victim connected to this word, this is not for you. You are brave. You have been undeniably wounded. This is not for you.
However, if a victim is reading this, know I wish to fight for you. There are some who do not know the fragility of this word. They have tasted it on their lips and have soiled its purpose. They have cried it out to the public and do not bare its scar.
This is for them.
Let me first start out by stating this is NOT only a female issue. Many people will say men are not part of this word. They can never experience the word, only manifest it. And that is a complete lie. Men, just like women, have experienced this type of hate and cruelty. And just like some women, have also despicably exploited it.
What do you mean?
It has come to my attention that both men and women have begun to tarnish this word and use it to their advantage. It is disgusting and it needs to end.
I have read articles pertaining to those men and women who have cried wolf. There are statistics that surround these numbers. Feminists say it’s only 2%. Some officers say it’s 30%. Some 40%. The arguments created over these numbers happen every year. And you know what I say? I don’t care WHAT the statistics are. If someone is out there using the word rape as a guise for their own agenda, they should be punished severely.
Scandal after scandal, every time this word is used and then ‘taken back’, it paints a nasty picture. Suddenly, minds start to see this word in a different light. The victims who have been tortured by this word are quickly judged and questioned on whether or not they have been victimized.
Individuals who have been violated by rape are now tossed into the lion’s den because men and women have begun throwing this word around with no care to its consequence and demolition. Every time a man or woman cries rape and doesn’t mean it, they are slapping the true victims in the face.
One, you are tearing down a word, a very important one. There is no amount of money, or fame, or revenge that can justify the incorrect use of this word. You’re mad at your significant other? Speak to them. You want someone you can’t have? Don’t you dare threaten them with a lie. You want to hurt someone and tarnish their name while taking their money? Grow up and make better choices for yourself. You want attention? Call a friend. You regret a one-night stand you had? Get over it. You can’t REMEMBER a consensual one-night stand you had because YOU drank too much? That’s your fault.
I speak from experience when it comes to being black out drunk. One night, I was having a good time. I am a light weight and rarely drink. So, after about 3,4,5,10 drinks (?), I blacked out. I don’t remember much about that night. However, I woke up naked in the bed of a man I barely knew. Did I mean to sleep with him that night? Nope. Did I have witnesses say I was kissing him on the dance floor? Yup. So I don’t care how much I had to drink, I could never EVER call rape on an innocent man. I consented to have sex with him regardless if I remembered it the next morning.
To further address the ‘but I don’t fully remember so they must have taken advantage of me in that drunken state‘ argument, I give you another story. I have been black out drunk three times in my life. You just read about the third. The second time was on my 21st. Did I mean to get this drunk? To your surprise, no. I wanted to remember the night. However, my mind had shut off after 12:30am. I partied till 2am. My good girlfriend was with me the entire time. You know what she told me? ‘I would never have known you were that intoxicated until you told me you had to throw up at the end of the night. You just seemed like you were having a good time like usual. I can’t believe you don’t remember what happened.’ So, be extremely wary when accusing someone of taking advantage of you since the person you had sex with may not have known just how drunk you were at the time. They could have been just as intoxicated as you. That person could have thought you were just being your normal self, having a good time, and it ended with consensual, yet blurry, sex.
Just a reminder, this is not for those who have been truly taken advantage of and have been forced into an act they did not consent to doing. Men and women HAVE been raped while they were intoxicated and/or drugged. That is a completely different discussion. I am talking about those men and women who wake up the next morning, regret their decision, and decide to get out of it by calling it rape.
IF you use this word and do not mean it, you are contributing to the next factor. You are criminalizing an innocent person.
Even IF you take back your allegations against an innocent person, that person is scarred for life. You’ve done to them what you have accused them of doing to you. You have hurt them, belittled them, and caused them so much undeserved grief. My heart goes out to any man or woman who has been accused of rape and is completely innocent. They can never have their innocence back.
So I leave you with this.
For those who have been victim to this awful word, I am sorry so many have used it spitefully. You don’t deserve that.
For those who have been wrongfully accused of this awful word, I am sorry so many have gotten away with it. You don’t deserve that.
For those thinking about using this word for their own agenda, I pray that you are stopped before you tarnish the reputation of an innocent person. They don’t deserve that.
For those thinking about using it because they are ashamed for sleeping with a specific person, I hope you think hard and clear before you let that word slip from your mouth. That person doesn’t deserve that.
For those who are skeptical and don’t think any of this is real, take a look around you. Read the papers, scan the magazine articles, flip on the news. It happens,
and it needs to end.
Justice should be brought to those who have been victims of this crime
and justice should be brought against those who abuse it.
For future reference, PLEASE, if you have become the victim of rape or a sexual crime, IMMEDIATELY go to the police or to the hospital. Get as much evidence as you can. The medical staff will help you. They WANT to help you. Don't let a person get away with violating you. They need to pay. It is NOT your fault. And to those victims who never received justice, it is a broken world we live in. It is unfair, criminal, and I truly hope you were/are able to find the solace you deserve. Love, B.R. Wren