I feel I have hit a wall. I kept having the same day over and over again as if in a dream. I’d wake up, take my bath and take all the crust and skin off to find that by the end of the day, the crust was back. I am a human scab, thus I think I need to treat myself as such.
That’s where the moisture withdrawal comes into play. I’ve heard of it but never wanted to put my body through its hell. It literally means to keep the skin and crust on and let it do what it wants. If I keep picking the skin and crust away, then I won’t heal.
I started Moisture Withdrawal on my body Wednesday, August 5th, and on my face, Friday, August 7th, 2015. Lord, help me. It’s so uncomfortable, I feel disgusting, and I’ve asked Jack to stay home to take care of me. I told him I felt like the Star Trek people and he immediately said, “Oh, the Phage people.” Ya… no, not the people I was talking about. Look them up. I won’t let him live this down.
And it’s getting hard not being able to go out and do things with people. I’ve turned down an awesome coffee date with my friend and her little, lovely daughter, and I was not able to attend a 2 year old’s birthday party this Saturday since I am basically turning into the Crypt Keeper.
I also have been feeling a bit neglected, but I can’t really fault people on it. I get that my best of friends have lives and other responsibilities. It’s just hard going through this with only hearing from friends every once in a while. I know it’s a lot having to keep checking in and chat with a cripple who usually can’t leave their house, but it’s also hard being that cripple who can’t leave the house. It gets lonely.
However, the phone goes both ways. On my better days, I am going to make more of an effort to see how my friends are doing, especially since I haven’t been myself for over 7 months now.
Zinc face. This is meant to be used on arms and legs but I tried it on my face since I had already started MW on my legs and arms.
Now, here are some pictures of my body going through Moisture Withdrawal.
My skin jar… which is actually now full. I have to start a new one. This filled quickly once the MW started.
Sorry if there are any duplicates. I had so many pictures that the uploader kind of went bonkers.
As you can see I am SWIMMING in skin. And the kicker, Jack and I are living in our living room. I’ve been sleeping on the couch with a mattress cover on it (and ruining our couch pillow with my scalp skin) while he’s been sleeping on a futon mat on the living room floor. Our bedroom has lovely bed bugs. HOW?! I have no idea. We had a new mattress and it’s been covered with a protective cover since day one. We clean constantly (because of my skin shedding) so how they got in is a mystery. However, my husband goes into some manky houses (when doing removals) so one could have hitchhiked into the house? It’s been such nightmare.
And I know lots of people just come and look at my pictures on my blog and don’t actually read what I write, but I didn’t create this blog for those who only care to see my gross pictures, but this is for all those TSW sufferers who feel alone and don’t know where to turn. Topical Steroid Withdrawal is overlooked by so many doctors that it’s horrifying.
And to those TSW sufferers who are also on the fence about MW, I’ll let you know how it goes with me. I am probably only going to shower twice a week (and clean the needed bits everyday). I am NOT picking skin off. I have asked other wonderful women going through this what they thought and there were mixed thoughts. However, like I’ve said, if you pick at a scab, it’s not going to heal. I am going to leave my skin alone and when it flakes off, it flakes off. I keep my arms wrapped to keep the itch down (though sometimes I just have to give in a little) and my legs get a beating at night with my nails so I do try my best to keep them wrapped. Not going to lie, my mouth is super tight (funny when I have to eat…), but I am not in immense pain. Uncomfortable and living in a nightmare, yes, but in agony, no. It sucks, but I want to see how long I can do this. My 1 year anniversary (marriage, not TSW) is September 4th. We want to take a vacation to the Georgia Seaquarium. I’m hoping to keep this going til Sept. 1st and see where my body and face are at. Wish me luck!!
Love, B. R. Wren
P.S. You can check out my Youtube videos on my channel Briana Banos. Here is a link to one. I am hopefully going to do another one once this MW is over.