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Found in Reverie

Memoirs of a little bird

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Tag: moving on

4 Years
TSW

4 Years

January 25, 2019January 25, 2019 brianarachelle232 Comments

4 years. 209 weeks. 1,462 days. of loss. of confusion. of fear. of battle scars. of thunderous, terrifying purpose. Looking back to Day 1, when hopes were high and knowledge was scarce, it is miraculous to see how far this journey has taken me. I am not the same person. Sometimes that makes me sad… Continue reading 4 Years

Bird Scribble · TSW

Use Warm Water

September 18, 2018September 18, 2018 brianarachelle236 Comments

I’ve had cabin fever for months now. Every so often, I get to venture out, but for the most part, I was secluded in my home working on the documentary (I’ll make an update video soon). I was looking forward to getting back into my old job of subbing — not because it’s my passion,… Continue reading Use Warm Water

Love, Inferno
Listen Up

Love, Inferno

October 31, 2017October 31, 2017 brianarachelle231 Comment

I celebrated my birthday today. It’s usually a time of reflection, of celebration of self, or an acute realization of our mortality that has unfortunately progressed. But I didn’t find myself either relishing or despising this trip around the sun. What I did feel though — despondence. Not the greatest feeling on your big day.… Continue reading Love, Inferno

The Book Of Distant Love

Once Around the Sun

October 17, 2017October 17, 2017 brianarachelle23Leave a comment

I share much chagrin in these words. I feel defeated, and even foolish, writing them. So, here it is: I am not over my marriage.  It has been exactly one year since I took an 11.5 hour bus ride to him in that hotel room. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like a… Continue reading Once Around the Sun

Bird Scribble · Rooftop Reveries

3 Weddings

May 28, 2017May 28, 2017 brianarachelle23Leave a comment

In the past 8 months, I have been to three weddings. All three were beautifully celebrated with so much love and happiness filling the air, good conversation, dancing, and vows that always made the tears well up in our eyes. All three also had something else in common: My other half was missing. While subbing… Continue reading 3 Weddings

Rooftop Reveries

Empty Nest

April 30, 2017April 30, 2017 brianarachelle235 Comments

“The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Everyday we face the same truth, the fact that life is fleeting. That our time here is short.” – OTH It’s as if I am stuck in a time warp, some twilight zone or awakening from a 2 year coma.… Continue reading Empty Nest

The Scars Beneath
Rooftop Reveries

The Scars Beneath

April 9, 2017April 10, 2017 brianarachelle235 Comments

There has been a lot on my heart and mind, weighing it down like a boulder tied to a drowning woman’s ankles. No matter how hard you paddle, the weight is still there. You try so hard to let it go, and some days you think you’ve tackled it, figured it out, and yet the… Continue reading The Scars Beneath

Rooftop Reveries

Faceless Room

March 11, 2017 brianarachelle232 Comments

It’s been exactly one week since my divorce. It still doesn’t feel real. I had a heinous week at school and today, for some reason, I had a lot of children slip up and call me Mrs. Wren. I try not to get upset at them since that’s what I asked them to call me the… Continue reading Faceless Room

First Wives Club
Rooftop Reveries

First Wives Club

March 6, 2017March 6, 2017 brianarachelle23Leave a comment

It is official. I am now a first wife. I don’t like the word ex-wife nor the word ex-husband, really. Both sound so harsh, like getting sliced in a guillotine. My head is still intact. My heart is debatable. I am too young to be a first wife. Just writing the word ex is unsettling. The divorce… Continue reading First Wives Club

Rooftop Reveries

On the Dotted Line

January 18, 2017 brianarachelle232 Comments

Yesterday, I went into my attorney’s office to sign divorce papers. It was a complete out of body experience. It was as if it wasn’t me doing it. Someone else was because I couldn’t possibly be the one getting divorced. We are only two years in. My marriage isn’t over. My husband doesn’t have a girlfriend.… Continue reading On the Dotted Line

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