4 years. 209 weeks. 1,462 days. of loss. of confusion. of fear. of battle scars. of thunderous, terrifying purpose. Looking back to Day 1, when hopes were high and knowledge was scarce, it is miraculous to see how far this journey has taken me. I am not the same person. Sometimes that makes me sad… Continue reading 4 Years
I’ve had cabin fever for months now. Every so often, I get to venture out, but for the most part, I was secluded in my home working on the documentary (I’ll make an update video soon). I was looking forward to getting back into my old job of subbing — not because it’s my passion,… Continue reading Use Warm Water
I celebrated my birthday today. It’s usually a time of reflection, of celebration of self, or an acute realization of our mortality that has unfortunately progressed. But I didn’t find myself either relishing or despising this trip around the sun. What I did feel though — despondence. Not the greatest feeling on your big day.… Continue reading Love, Inferno
I share much chagrin in these words. I feel defeated, and even foolish, writing them. So, here it is: I am not over my marriage. It has been exactly one year since I took an 11.5 hour bus ride to him in that hotel room. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, and sometimes it feels like a… Continue reading Once Around the Sun
In the past 8 months, I have been to three weddings. All three were beautifully celebrated with so much love and happiness filling the air, good conversation, dancing, and vows that always made the tears well up in our eyes. All three also had something else in common: My other half was missing. While subbing… Continue reading 3 Weddings
“The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Everyday we face the same truth, the fact that life is fleeting. That our time here is short.” – OTH It’s as if I am stuck in a time warp, some twilight zone or awakening from a 2 year coma.… Continue reading Empty Nest
There has been a lot on my heart and mind, weighing it down like a boulder tied to a drowning woman’s ankles. No matter how hard you paddle, the weight is still there. You try so hard to let it go, and some days you think you’ve tackled it, figured it out, and yet the… Continue reading The Scars Beneath
It’s been exactly one week since my divorce. It still doesn’t feel real. I had a heinous week at school and today, for some reason, I had a lot of children slip up and call me Mrs. Wren. I try not to get upset at them since that’s what I asked them to call me the… Continue reading Faceless Room
It is official. I am now a first wife. I don’t like the word ex-wife nor the word ex-husband, really. Both sound so harsh, like getting sliced in a guillotine. My head is still intact. My heart is debatable. I am too young to be a first wife. Just writing the word ex is unsettling. The divorce… Continue reading First Wives Club
Yesterday, I went into my attorney’s office to sign divorce papers. It was a complete out of body experience. It was as if it wasn’t me doing it. Someone else was because I couldn’t possibly be the one getting divorced. We are only two years in. My marriage isn’t over. My husband doesn’t have a girlfriend.… Continue reading On the Dotted Line
