TSW

34 Months TSW

I didn’t exactly start off on the right foot this TSW month. Well, not totally true. I had my birthday, which was lovingly spent with family and my Royal comrades.

I enjoyed a Halloween party as well, which was nice since I spent time and energy on my costume. I always wanted to be LeeLoo from The 5th Element, and now was my chance!

However, after that, it went downhill.

I started to not feel so well Thursday, Nov. 2nd, and my skin on my face didn’t seem very happy. Come nightfall, I realized my lymph node under my chin was severely swollen and bumps began to form above my top lip. I tried not to panic, knowing it could be nothing… or could be something horrible.

The next morning proved the latter. I could easily tell I had Eczema Herpeticum on my face. Now, without treatment of anti-vitals, this can go downhill like a racing bullet. I felt extremely lucky with it not becoming a massive threat in an exponential way. I swiftly had to drive home from North Miami to grab a few emergency reserve anti-vitals to then drive straight back up to work.

The next morning, I was so happy I didn’t have to work. The Herpeticum spread a bit more and I was exhausted. A friend and also sufferer of TSW sent me an overnight pack of antivirals for when she had EH so that I could start meds right away. What a godsend.

I had to take off of work that whole week, which really sucked. But, as we know, our health comes first.

My skin has been extremely dry this month as well, especially from the infection. Not just the viral one, but I feel I also have a bacterial one. It’s been exactly one week and I am STILL waiting for the swab of those results. It’s on my hands, stomach and back. I started to wash with antiseptic about 4 days ago and it seems to help with my hands.

Emotionally, it’s been a trying month. All the ups and downs, income loss, exponential money spending for medical needs, and wishing certain people were back in my life but I know won’t be. Today would have been my 5 year relationship anniversary with my ex-husband. No matter what happened, it still is hard, especially still struggling with TSW. But, we forge on. The limbo and loneliness just make it a bit tougher. However, family and friends are how to stay afloat. I have the best parents, supportive family, and close friends who keep me going.

And I’ve had someone, and seen a few posts, asking about TSW longevity and how it becomes more difficult, not less, as time goes on. The hope falters, the doubt sets in, the tears flow more, and the strength weakens. I wish to do a video on this soon. I know it plagues many minds and we all can use a bit of fortitude and words of inspiration.


Hands

Face

Hairline

Stomach

20171118_171113


Again, and again, and again… just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when I’m pushed a few steps back. Just keep… moving… forward.

Love, B. R. Banos

2 thoughts on “34 Months TSW

  1. Oh hon, so sorry to hear about the tough month you have had. It seems like a kick in the gut lurks round every corner. I appreciate so much your honesty and willingness to share your struggles. It really helps to me, and I am sure others too, to realize we are not alone. While I am loathe to burden you with the mantle of being our poster child, you must know you have countless fans cheering you on. Stronger together for sure. Many hugs!

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    1. I appreciate your kind words. I always try and be honest, sometimes holding back as not to give too much away when i concerns ppl in my life, or not in my life anymore, but i do wish to help others see they are not alone in their suffering and that, i too, am a mere mortal battling alongside everyone else xo

      Like

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