Tomorrow is Christmas, so I wanted to be a day early. It will be a packed celebratory time with family and friends tomorrow (which I hope I make it through!). Lots of driving, gifts, and hugs to be had.
My energy, especially since beginning a work out regimen at the beginning of December, has actually decreased. My body just physically isn’t able to function through a whole day if it is constantly busy. I mean, just yesterday I had to take a 30 minute nap at 6:30pm if I was going to make it to 10pm. I didn’t want to go to bed THAT early. TSW makes me feel that much more geriatric. I wish I was more like Dwayne Johnson, living high on 18 hour days. How he wakes up at 4am to do workouts, then meetings, interviews, travel, shootings, AND family time all before 10pm — whew! I need 7-8 hours of sleep a day AND a nap if it gets too crazy for me. I never get used to this “un-productiveness” that accompanies TSW, but we work with it!
As I mentioned I started working out again. Though my energy is down on days, I am SO happy I am doing this for myself. I knew December was going to bring it’s rollercoaster of emotions and I wanted to make sure I had a plan to focus on two important things — the documentary and my mental strength. Well, nothing makes me mentally feel more strength than working on myself physically. I will never forget the empowerment I felt at my old gym in Gainesville, Fl (F2 Arena and Darkside Athletics). That first difficult workout, first punch on a bag, first arm bar… man, it makes you feel invincible. You’re not just growing muscles but confidence. It’s addicting after a while. It’s therapy and physical molding all in one. So, even though I can’t go FULL THROTTLE like I used to, I am doing my best in our garage. I bought some equipment, my cousin put up a pull up station, and I am SET. Not going to lie, the sweat BURNNNNNSSSS. Uh, does it burn. I don’t think it’s been doing my skin any favors either but, honestly, being able to work out has helped me emotionally this month. If the skin suffers a bit, it suffers.
Money has also been a precarious subject this past month. With hardly any work at the school, the two week break, and Christmas shopping… no bueno. Also, at the end of November, I had to go into Urgent Care since my skin was not doing well. Guess how much my sh***y insurance made me pay?… $184. For a ridiculous visit!? I was hesitant to even glance at my credit card payments in early December. I bit the bullet though, sadly, and took a government subsidy to help me pay for another health insurance plan. Not sure how long it will last with all the changes being made, but I am grateful to not have to pay $248 a month now for the WORST coverage ever that I couldn’t even afford.
Other than that, not much to report. Saw Star Wars and The Greatest Showman. I will always love Star Wars, but The Greatest Showman touched my heart hugely. It reminded me of how much performing lives in my veins. “This Is Me” is such a beautiful, powerful song for people who have had obstacles in their way and won’t apologize for who they are. I even think they are doing a contest now of some sort and I’m going to see if I can enter a video for it. Even if it’s just a showcase of #ThisIsMe for social media, I want to do it. So inspiring xx
I love you all! Enjoy this holiday season!!!!
Love, B. R. Banos