What a month it has been. Whenever I take a dive with my skin, it also effects my emotions.
Once I had gotten back from the cruise ship, I got hit with a few scenarios and situations that gave me a load of anxiety (I am still trying to shake it).
One major anxiety-provoking issue is the documentary. Not to say the documentary is an issue — just a huge responsibility. It’s such an important piece of work and it takes SO MUCH TIME to perfect. At first I thought, maybe I’m just really bad at this? Maybe I’m too slow and am not cut out for this. But then I watched an INCREDIBLE documentary called, “Unrest”, and I was blown away by the whole thing — the way it was shot, sound, lighting, etc. It was directed by a girl, Jen Brea, who has CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). That condition leaves her bedridden for the most part. I thought how in the world did she do it!?!? But then I saw the credits… the many credits. There was a huge team working on this AND it took them what looks like about 3 years to make this film. I started, alone, around mid June 2016 with just conceptualizing this. October 1st, 2016 I started the website and fundraising. June 4th, 2017 I took off to shoot the film. It’s not even a year later — so less than 2 years total. Instead of feeling defeated with every single hurdle that gets thrown at me with the documentary (including needing more money), I AM KICKING ASS. I am doing essentially what it takes a whole plethora of people to do. ANDDD I’m working a part/full time job on top of it. Imagine the stress and worries and concerns and despair that goes through my mind on an HOURLY basis…
So, bare with me! I am doing as much as I can, and I am also still trying to be there for others on a personal basis. I need to include myself in that group.
As for my skin, it’s been generally the same. Super dry spots on my face, more around my mouth and right side of the face, my neck, and my forearm/elbow area. I was doing soaks in the bath all last week and I still was extremely dry and red. It was putting a damper on my mood. Then, I reordered some of Suhein’s ELAJ cream — SO GLAD I did!! I really love this stuff. My face seems to really appreciate it. My dryness goes down a ton to where I am not constantly pulling out a mirror at work to pick off flakes and reapply other products. For example, I’d usually have to reapply things to my face 2-3 times while substitute teaching and I still look red and blotchy. Today, I didn’t reapply anything at all! And I was only minimally dry by the end of school.
My arms are a whole level above my face when it comes to dryness, however. Not sure what to do with these suckers. Even my wrists and hands are blotchy.
I heavily fell off the wagon with food this past month, but I’m back on the saddle. I bought The Medical Medium’s book (the 2nd one). I am under no illusion that going raw will heal me super quick or that it will be the cure to my TSW, but mentally, I need to switch gears and help my body in any way I can. I accidentally cut out meat from my diet (it’s only been 5 days so far), but I think it may help at least give my body a break. I want to stick to fruits, veggies, and potatoes (and bone broth protein shakes and bone broth soup). My energy and outlook just the past couple of days has been awesome. I still have my anxiety, but it’s much more manageable. When you feel like you are in control of something (like diet, since TSW doesn’t give you ANY control), it does wonders for your drive. I’ve started a drinking water in the morning regimen. I literally drink 2 liters by noon. Just put half a lemon in a 16 oz to-go sip container, fill it with water and drink it on my drive to work. Then, while there, I make sure I down 3 more of them. Help detox my organs. I want to try juicing celery and cilantro in the morning too, starting next week. Drink 16oz before I leave the house to start the day off right, you know? Supposedly it’s great for our skin. Worth a shot. It’s a healthy lifestyle change that I could apply get used to, even if it gets toned down to only 4 times a week.
Find your purpose, loves. I know it’s painful, and incredibly hard some days to just have the courage to get out of bed, but find that motivation. Give yourself something to look forward to, whether it’s a new diet, new exercise routine, new hobby. You deserve it.
A few random ones from this month
My snake, Remi, bit me for the first time which was exciting (not). I worked at my old dance studio’s Spring Show. I said goodbye to my friend’s gorgeous Brickell view since he moved. And since I stopped going hard with training, I’ve been trying to stretch a bit in our loft area. There used to be a mattress up there but it was moved so I have all this room!! And the top photo of me is of my never ending studying for how to make this documentary the best it can be, even when I am feeling poorly and have zinc all over my face.
Love you all so much. Keep trucking!! Fight! Stand up for yourself! xx
Love, B. R. Banos